Dan Brown in his book 'Origin' he mentioned 2 unsolved mysteries of mankind are what is the origin? And what is the destiny? I'm just in the midway. Hopefully i get the answer from him once I finish reading his book.
Like everyone i have lot of thoughts going on in my head at any point in time. Usually 90% will thoughts will evaporate like a camphor without any trace. But for the last 3-4 days like hailstones random thoughts hit my head with various emotions. Earlier whenever I try to focus on my thoughts sometimes i get clarity, sometime i get a gist of them and many a times my inner self says not worth thinking about so I just move on. This time I don't know understand these thoughts. The reason I'm writing this blog is i hope i get some clarity on the thoughts.
4 days back we lost a good friend in my childhood gang. When I heard the news, 1st thing happened to me was, i went blank. No emotions(no remorse, no sympathy, no empathy, no sadness). Nothing at all. I don't know how to react. It never happened with me. I was the one who cried when emma stone died in the climax of amazing spiderman(now i ask myself really d******d?) I was the one who laugh when someone laughs without knowing the reason why the laugh is for. I was the one who expressed contempt when someone ask about the caste or religion. But in this situation i felt nothing. Then i started thinking that may be i was not that as close to him as i was with my other friends.
This thought made me question again then why did you go blank? 2 yrs back when my college roomie committed suicide in his apartment, all i filled me with was anger no sympathy or no empathy. How dare he took his life leaving his parents and siblings? That too during covid time, parents could not even see his face one last time. He died as a loner in some unknown place in England. I did not experience such alternate emotion here. May be I'm neither of the sides. I went blank because I was not close to him but he was close to the people I was close to. I went blank because I empathise with my friends. Or maybe as a third person i empathise with his family members for their loss. I'm afraid that i become a monk or something. I leave these thoughts to time. Let it decide.
I love taking advice but not giving one. I know 99% of my closed ones going to read this blog. I won't say these are not advices but my humble requests.
1) Priorities. Priorities. Priorities
2) When you feel low or under depression, you better call me or anyone whom you are comfortable with. I been in that situation, i sought help. I sought help of my parents, mentor and my friends. Nothing to be ashamed of. An introverted guy opened his mouth and told people how he was feeling. You are better than me.
3) Don't take anything for granted. Be humble and grateful. When you think about the gap between the origin and the destiny. It's tiny. It will disappear in a blink of an eye. If you love someone give more love without any expectations. If you don't like someone, leave it.
